Thanks for stopping by! I’m a 26 year old grad student passionate about healthy living, photography, baking and (when I have time for it!) books and travel. I’ve lived in New Jersey my entire life (the only exceptions being the last 15 summers spent up in Connecticut and a semester in London during college). I’m a busy person (I work one job at my college, tutor high school students and intern at a high school) but I like that. I prefer to use the term, “delightfully busy”.
Admittedly, I wasn’t always this passionate about healthy lifestyles. If you’ve read through my blog you know the last two years have been a pretty big change for me. Starting in the summer of 2011, I became a pescetarian (vegetarian+fish=pescetarian) and started being honest with myself about what and how much I ate and what exercise I clearly wasn’t doing. If I write an post on pescetarianism (which I probably will) I’ll go into details, but basically I’ve never loved meat and would usually drench it in condiments to mask the taste. And not eating meat really forces me to choose healthier options-especially when dining out. So for me it’s mostly about the taste/ health aspects, but I won’t lie and say I don’t think about the ethics of it all.
So that summer, I became good friends with my now BFF (we knew each other for 8 years before, but were nowhere near as close). BFF was a really big inspiration- especially when I was starting out. I don’t think she even knew it at the time, but she really helped. And since then, she’s been the biggest support I have in my life. Especially because for a very long time, I didn’t tell anyone I was losing weight. Aside from BFF and maybe one or two other people, no one knew. My family didn’t even say anything outright until I had lost 70 pounds. I was a pretty private person about it. Mostly because I think I was afraid of failing- like I had so many times before.
Because I have tried- so many times before. In elementary school, I remember my doctor referred me to a kids weight loss group. I wasn’t nearly as heavy as any of the other kids, so my mom told me I didn’t have to keep going. In high school, I joined Weight Watchers. I lost 25 pounds, but it didn’t really mean anything to me. That sounds weird to admit, but I really wasn’t invested yet. I tried throughout college, and after- but again, I still kept falling into the same self-destructive patterns.
And it took a long time to actually want to change. I can’t say it was one thing- like I had a moment of realization or anything. But I attribute a good portion of it to my masters degree. I know, ethically, you’re not supposed to study counseling to try to fix yourself, but that was an unintended byproduct of my education. And I am grateful for it.
So it’s been nearly two years and I’ve lost 100 pounds. I still have a fair bit further to go, but as long as it’s progress in the right direction- that’s okay. And being patient is hard. The last few months have not been easy- and it would seem that after losing 100 pounds, it should get easier, right? But unlike times before, I’m honest with what I am and am not doing right, and working to fix it. Sometimes I need to remind myself by looking at side-by-side photos of myself like this to remember where I’ve come from and ridiculous faces aside- I feel proud. And that is kinda hard to admit when you know you still have a long way until your “after”. So I’m not leaving you with a before and after shot, but a before and now(ish) shot- because I’m still working towards that after.